so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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