thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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