Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
