pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
