this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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