Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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