Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
