How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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