You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
