yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
