i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize