its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
