u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I will be naked everywhere
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
