I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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