yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
