I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
