I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
