This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
