I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
