Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
