so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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