Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
