is your mom at the bar?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
