3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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