Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
