Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
