Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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