We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
