Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
