..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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