Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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