we have pet lesbian snakes
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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