So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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