Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
