finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.