This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
