I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
