I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think your dad took our porno