Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week