she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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