too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
