oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
