Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
