ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
