My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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