the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
