WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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