It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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