I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
