Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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