oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
