11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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