you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
