i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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