I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
