if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
