We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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