He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
