Moan for me like Helen Keller
he shaved USA in his pubs
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
