I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
