I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
