There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
