You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
