who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
As shirtless as possible
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
