**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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