You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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