funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
