Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
third nipple confirmed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
