I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize